Josse’s mid-morning espresso was delivered instantly as he settled into his favourite booth at the tavern.
“Merci,” he mumbled, relishing the prospect of a peaceful half hour with the paper – but it wasn’t to be.
“Something you might like to see,” said the waiter, handing Josse a slim cardboard folder. “Romeo found these at closing time yesterday.”
Drawings of the staff. A portrait of Jade being Jade; another of Mirko, with intense glowing eyes. A rough outline of a woman in a skirt, immediately recognisable as Adelphine in a strop. Several close-ups, clumsy at first but then increasingly adept, of messy topknots held together with improvised hair sticks.
He recognised a pencil, a mermaid novelty pen and an ill-advised fondue fork that he remembered using in recent weeks. Whoever had observed them had been doing so for a while. A fresh round of psyops cooked up by Mr Obnoxious?
“We thought they might be another little message from that real estate creep.”
“Great minds… Yes, that’s what I’m thinking. Any idea who might have dropped them?”
“Not really. But there was a woman here in the afternoon; we thought she was marking homework or reading proofs or something. Scribbling away behind two large stacks of paper.”
“Had you seen her before?”
“Yes, she’s a regular. Your age, I’d say, with blonde hair. Whipped cream cappuccinos and a slice of whatever cake’s going.”
“Let me guess – wears lots of pink, often comes in with a bouquet from the stall, always heads straight for this booth?”
“That’s the one.”
“OK. Well spotted. Thanks for the heads-up.”
“Do you know her?”
“Not sure. I think she has the shop with the wooden toys on Grand Place. Berghmans.”
“What do we do? Just hand back the drawings if she asks for them?”
“Hhhhm. Actually, no, leave them to me. I think I’ll go have a word.”
***
Meanwhile, in a long-forgotten crypt deep under the city’s busy streets, Azélie sat cross-legged on a sarcophagus, filing her nails.
The tomb was an ornate medieval affair; a stone coffin flamboyantly carved to extol the merits of whoever had initially rested inside. No expense had been spared, and apparently there had been a whole lot to say, if the ample depictions of pious and charitable deeds adorning the sides were to be trusted.
Even for a sarcophagus, this one was massive. Nonetheless, a far less elaborate, but no less impressive slab of sheer granite had been added atop its hefty lid for good measure.
And a small groove had been drilled into the coffin’s upper rim on one side, just large enough to allow for a power cord and an Ethernet cable. You wouldn’t want to damage the venerable carvings, but some concessions to modernity did have to be made – if only so that the security team wouldn’t have to shout.
“So,” said Azélie. “Are you ready to talk yet?”
Two large speakers relayed the stream of expletives from below.
“I see.”
More swearing, some of it very creative indeed, if occasionally dated.
“OK. Here’s what’s going to happen. You will stay in there until you’ve calmed down. Then, we’re going to discuss your options. Once we’ve come to an agreement, we’ll let you out of there.”
“!%_%%!**-&§!!”
“I know. But it is what it is.”
“Are you just going to leave me here?”
“We’re simply giving you time to consider the error of your ways. It’s not like you’d come to any harm down there, you’re undead already.”
“This is an outrage. Do you know who I am?”
“Not really. And I don’t care. Our turf, our rules. You broke them.”
“Let me out of here, traitor!”
“Message us if you need anything while you mull things over. See the display in the lid? It’s a touch screen. No internet access, obviously, but you can contact us, and we’ve also provided entertainment. In case you get bored. I recommend the meditation loop of trees in Forêt de Soignes, and we have hours of footage from the falcon cam at Saints-Michel-et-Gudule.”
“I’d prefer a wooden stake.”
***
Back in the alley, Adelphine was showing Jade around.
“Josse was meant to be doing this, but he’s dealing with some emergency,” she explained.
A gaggle of giggly lutins came pelting along, with Oakleaf in hot pursuit. As soon as they spotted the outsider, they blinked out of sight.
“It’s OK,” said Adelphine. “We don’t have to act normal.”
“We don’t?” One by one, the tiny troublemakers popped back into view.
“This is Jade. She’s joining us in the impasse. Please tell everyone.”
The lutins seemed delighted as the group split to run off in every direction. Seconds later, several returned, cap in hand and holding out flowers.
“Awwww,” the newcomer cooed. “Aren’t you adorable?”
“They’re nasty little thieves,” said Oakleaf, turning to face the reassembling lutinry. “Return my spectacles right now, or I swear I’ll…”
“This is Oakleaf,” Adelphine interrupted. “He tends our garden and produces much of the food we serve at the tavern.”
“Oh, where are my manners – welcome, Jade. Sorry I got a bit carried away there! Lutins and slugs are a gardener’s nightmare.”
“Hello,” Jade replied. “You have a garden in here? Where?”
“Third doorway down on the left. It’s much larger than you’d think – drop by for a tour when you have a minute.”
”He’s not a vampire, is he?” Jade observed Oakleaf’s receding frame, noticing that he didn’t seem to mind the bright light of day.
“Wood elf and resident philosopher. Come on, we have more people to see and I don’t have all day.”
Quite a few of those residents were hanging out at the warehouse café, and the laboratory underneath brought a fresh lot of surprises.
“So it’s not just supernatural beings. You have actual ETs as well.”
“We just have the one. But we thought he’d fit in fine.”
“So far I’ve met elves and tiny munchkins, vampires and werewolves and a resident poltergeist. There just has to be a wicked witch also. Which one is she?”
Adelphine gave her a stern look, then ventured a comment.
“Seriously? You haven’t worked that out?”
Sometimes, you can actually see someone’s penny drop.
“Oh,” Jade replied.